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Thursday, January 28, 2016

I never thought it would take me this long to pop in and update you on our sweet baby girl's arrival. However, if you follow me on Instagram you are already all updated and probably sick of all the baby pictures! I guess you could say I'm under the spell of Caroline Hodges - also known as sleep deprived and completely infatuated. Since she made her drama filled debut on Sunday January 10, 2016 at precisely 7:46 pm (more on this later on),  I've tried to find the right words to describe what it's meant to me. I'm still not entirely sure I know what to say and how to say it, but I could try some random motherly thoughts... 

1. Not only do I have a new level of respect for moms but I'm in complete awe of those who do this whole mama thing on their own and full time. They deserve to be celebrated - going to work every day is a piece of cake compared to this!

2. Change is the most excited and terrifying thing ever.  My world stopped spinning several times during labor, during and after my c-section. And while I was desperately trying to catch my breath with a fury of people around me, all I could think about was my fear of change. The amount of change in my life right now feels uncomfortable but it's humbling too. There's little room for selfishness when it comes to being a mother and this, I know will be the most challenging part for me.

3. It takes a village. My mom has been living with us ever since Caroline came into this world, and I am so thankful for all the help. I am not superwoman. I am not perfect. 
With having to heal from surgery and take care of a baby at the same time, I've had to give up trying to do it all and accept that things won't necessarily go as planned. Not that 

Everyone tells you that these first few weeks are brutal, and they're right. It's hard to explain, and usually when I try to talk to Chris about how I feel it just sounds dam right crazy. There are moments of exhilaration, where you know you are doing things right and the love you have for your little one is beyond comparison. However, there are other instances in which you feel completely hungover, and nothing makes sense. I feel awfully confused and in absolute love all at the same time. Try explaining that to others around you. Ha! Nevertheless, when that little 8 Ibs baby starts cooing in your arms you can't help but feel complete and that all this is worth it in the end. 

I am still trying to figure out what all this means and how life will resume from here. This blog has always been a way to express myself and create meaningful content, and I have no intention of turning it to a mommy blog. Bare with me while I put my thoughts and life in order. To all who have been filling my Instagram with sweet words of encouragement, I thank you! 

Hope you come back soon,



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